I'd rather stay in thank you..
In the saddle that is...
I'll admit... I'd gotten cocky. I was pretty convinced I was just a few shades away from being John Wayne or some such thing.. I mean I was horse READY.. it'd been like THREE WHOLE MONTHS..
Okay perhaps a John Wayne that screamed like a girl whenever the horse took off across a field.. but my personal version of a girl John Wayne.... which involved a lot of.flopping around and clinging to the saddle horn like a random bit of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of a high end running shoe. But in MY head.. VERY MUCH the Duke in one of his many great Horse-Riding scenes nevertheless.
Discovering I wasn't quite there yet? A bit of a shock :)
ACTUALLY that's not completely accurate. I mean, if someone had come up to me and said 'uhm, Cindy? you are NOT John Wayne..' that wouldn't really have shocked me.. it was the Eating Dirt portion of the message delivery that caught me by surprise..
It all started out innocently enough. The girls decided perhaps we'd do a bit of a ride one afternoon. Now just to be clear, I'm talking about Tammi and Lisa when referencing the girls.. not that OTHER set of girls, who to my knowledge, have never recommended a horseback ride.. If truth be told.. they've only commented on the sports gear associated with that activity.. not the activity itself. But I digress...
Just a little ride the gals said.. just a mosey out from the barn, over and away across the field... THIS field shown in the pic to be exact.
I really couldn't wait.. I was SO excited. Hurry up Cindy.. get to grooming and saddling the gorgeous Patrone..
And there he is - all saddled and breath-taking in his horsey-ness. And he is ONE dead sexy boy, as most Palominos are...
And I can barely contain my excitement. We're going RIDING!!! I just KNEW this was going to be an AWESOME experience. I could SEE it..
The movie reel in my head... the score music building as I pointed my faithful ride out across the plains as the sun set like a big ball of flame and the dust we kicked up swirled up behind us - signaling the exit of something/someone amazing!
YOU KNOW the scene..
Hooves pound against the hardpack dirt... tails swishing, eyes rolling, drums beating in the distance.. a loan wolf crying its song... a stage-coach rumbling down a parched dirt road... a harmonic wailing...oh, wait ...So you have him saddled Cindy... now what?
Realistically - I KNOW I should have taken Patrone into the arena to do a bit of 'burning off the excess'.. (or as Katie in Pullman called it - giving him the confidence I wasn't a complete Doob whom he could trust to lead him.. So thanks for that Katie).. but Lisa was in the arena working with LilMan, and Patrone had issues with LilMan... SO I bypassed THAT step. And for those curious - THAT business won't happen again!
Well.. it turns out Patrone has more issues than just those with LilMan.... Apparently ANOTHER biggy is the whole 'leaving the barn while his buddies remained behind' thing.. Yeah - there really should've been a warning sticker affixed to his hindquarters on that one..
However, disclaimer aside - it became quickly apparent approximately 20 feet from the barn.
Actually the clue-light popped on right out of the barn.. presenting quickly as I pointed him towards the paved road. See, PATRONE thought the barn was a great idea.. lovely place to stay - filled with his chums.. CINDY thought the field was a FINE idea.. and because she is horse-stupid.. She just assumed we were going to cross, and confidently got him the full 10 feet across the road. WOOT WOOT.. FIRST DOWN!
Obviously I expected no troubles, so next we cross the ditch... uhm... Riiiiigggggghhhhhtttttt.. not happening.
So what DID happen Cindy?
Our 4-legged boy spent a great deal of the first five minutes in loud and persistent conversation with Duke and Cowboy back at the barn.. As it turns out, Patrone is one of those conversationalists that believes in the merits of LOOKING at the other half of the conversation, so HE wanted his head back towards the barn, and *I* wanted his head following Tammi and Lisa.There was a brief tussle. We made some forward movement after FINALLY getting across the ditch.. and then a bit more of an awkward head/reins match... a few more steps... Okay, if I'm kind to myself, we got about half way up the field. He wanted to open up and swoop wide and left back down to the barn. *I* wanted to continue North. My guidance and insistence we were going THATAWAY wasn't well received, and before I realized what was happening, I felt my butt come up out of the saddle.
For a BRIEF moment I thought I could regain my seat.. but the moment my thigh hit the saddle horn, I knew it was all over but the screaming, I was coming OFF THAT HORSE! And did I EVER.
The pesky little turd actually had the gall to run off all startled like.... as IF I'd done something to spook him! HEY DUDE... whose butt is rolling all over the field trying to find her glasses and phone? It sure as heck isn't YOURS!
Yeah..I ate some freshly plowed field.
OMG Cindy.. were you OKAY?
The ladies turned around in time to witness the launch. Tammi was awesome - quickly leaving Whisper with me while she walked slowly up to get a hand back on Patrone, who had the reins wrapped around his front leg like a jump rope. Turns out I'd held on to them all the way down. Just as the stirrup had held on to my foot until that last moment prior to landing - when it released it with a pop (I believe that was a small bone I heard).
My cage was slightly rattled, but ultimately no true damage. I DID get back up in the saddle, where I sat in shock as we discussed the next moves.
Tammi was a trooper.. making certain to deliver just the right amount of sympathy and firmness. She wanted to bring normalcy to the situation so I stayed cool. Oh, Look.. he's scared! He has diarrhea Cindy... REALLY? Well move over Patrone, because you SURE as heck aren't the ONLY one after THAT particular rodeo.
It would've served him right if I'd 'nervous stomached' all over that stubborn horse.. but I refrained.
I think he figured out that I was too freaked, he was freaked. Neither of us could settle down. Eventually I swapped horses with Tammi and we took me back to the edge of the road. I got him back to the arena and ran him about 30 minutes before heading home to nurse my own pride.
So what did you take away from this experience Cindy?
You mean ASIDE from a sore foot in a lovely shade of green (and I DO like green?).
I came away with a number of revelations actually!
- Cindy needs more lessons!
- My riding partners are amazing.
- Patrone needs more attention.
- And my group of online horse-loving girlfriends welcomed me into the dirt-eating, 1200lb stubborn baby, world of horse loving women.. who without fail will live to saddle up another day!










