Good Girl Cindy! Good Girl!

L.M. is getting some strokes from his momma

Don't forget the Praise!

When we are dealing with children, and dogs... and men, we've learned that praising a job well done, often leads to less struggle with future jobs.   Okay, that works with children and dogs...  not nearly as well with men.  But my POINT is, horses react equally well when they're told they are doing a good job.

L.M. is no different.   Last night I was out ahead of Lisa, and started the chores before her arrival.   One constant around the stable, is the "Good boy, SUCH a good boy" snippets of conversation floating over the fences and through the stable walls.  

What you DON'T expect as a Greenhorn do they even USE that term anymore?  or am I stuck in some John Wayne movie dialog? is the fact the horses DO want to hear it.   Every time Lisa asked the boy to do something, and he did it.. he'd move forward for the loves and praise.   That is pretty frick'n awesome!  You know what would be cooler yet?   If when YOU need praise, it was simply a matter of walking over to your 'praise'er' and bump em with your nose..  yeah, if THAT worked.. that'd be awesome.

Good Job for stopping Mister!

Gearing UP!

Last night we moved towards saddling L.M. up.  We did this for a variety of reasons, the first and foremost, so I understand the equipment and how to use it.  

I'm pretty full of questions about saddles (western, versus aussie, versus roping), and sizes (15 or 17?  who knows).  Why we have a bit?  Why we don't.   Lisa is amazing.   Just as an FYI, Lisa bought an Aussie 16, and L.M. doesn't like a bit.

I also learned how critical it is to have the saddle fit not just the rider, but the horse.  A too-tight saddle can do muscle damage to a horse, and improperly geared probably feels a whole helluva lot worse with a rider on it, than us flopping the girls into a misfitted underwire bra which we ALL know we can never quit tugging at.   Point taken!  If I ever get a horse, someone very knowledgeable will be helping me outfit it.

Climb aboard Cindy!

One of the amazing things about Lisa, is she won't allow me to simply sit back and watch.   Although it's HER horse and HER time.. she insisted on getting me in the saddle.   And just like LM.. when Lisa tells me to do something, I DO it.

First, I attempted to get in the saddle from the ground.  Although I'm certain it wasn't pretty, the attempt WAS successful.   Thank you 30" inseam.

LM and I did our walk-abouts.  We meandered into corners and back out again.  We bumped the ball around the arena for awhile.   By this time, he was MUCH less concerned with the mower contraption he'd been leery of earlier with Lisa..  We even took a stroll over the mini-bridge a couple of times.   All good.

But after watching her trot with him, I too wanted to know what that felt like. 

Cindy gets the trots!

So I try the noise.. you know, the noise that tells a horse 'giddyup, let's trot'?  Yeah, that noise.   I can't make it.  Or I'm speaking Sharpei and not Arabian.. whatever the case.   Nothing happens. 
Well, that's not true.  Lisa looked at me funny.   As does LM when I try to make her kissing/encouraging noise and she says 'are you TRYING to get him to trot? 

Ah HELL.  If I can't get a 35 year old human that speaks English to understand me, how the heck can the 4-legged companion figure it out?   Yes Lisa, I want him to TROT!! 

LM doing his community service

ALRIGHTY THEN.  Lisa immediately put us on the lead, made me lay down the reins, and and began the process of taking me around in circles.   LM was less than amused.    Lisa gave me a brief breakdown on which muscles I'm supposed to be using to stay in the saddle.  I feel like a relatively large paddle ball, minus the string, but by gosh, we TROTTED!  HOLY HORSESHOES!  WE TROTTED!

Lisa was full of encouragement.  I was doing well, my posture was good.. i wasn't slapping around near as much as I felt like I was.    

We determined the saddle was a bit large for me... I was almost up on tiptoes trying to lock my thighs under the things flanking the saddle horn.   Apparently heels are supposed to point down.   I was supposed to clamp my thighs to the horse...  These thighs are more drawn to each other.. but at the end of it, I knew I was doing okay when we finally got off the lead and began to work together, without Lisa having to call out ALL the directions to LM.

And Mike came out and said something about needing to learn to Post next.... and as we wound up our ride.. Lisa shouted out "GOOD GIRL Cindy, GOOD GIRL!"   

See?  that praise works on all of us :)  She just didn't have to pat me on the head!  We saved those for LM :)

All we need is love

Buying his affections. 

Within a short period of time I have learned even a well-trained horse needs a knowledgeable rider in order to better provide what the rider is asking him to do.   If the rider doesn't know?  Or doesn't know how to get the message across, there are difficulties.  However, if the horse doesn't trust the rider?   Epic Fail!

Somewhere quickly into this journey, I discovered how much I want this horse to love me.  Second to that is of course is the hope he responds to me.   But truth be told.. I want ALL the horses to love me.   I'm not opposed to sweetening the odds on that, so stopping just short of rubbing carrots all over my body, I DID make certain to take treats out last Saturday evening when it was just me at the stables.

This is Lil' Man

Lisa was gone for the weekend and I got granted permission to go out and do the daily routine of cleaning the stable, grooming Lil' Man, and yes - taking him into the arena to see if he will listen to me.  

I arrived at dinner time...  let's just say the listening was limited until he caught whiff of my carrot scent.  Yes, suddenly I had his attention!   But like any good momma (surrogate or otherwise), he had to wait for dessert.  

You know what momma wants...

 

The standard routine with Lil' Man (from now on referred to as L.M.) includes the following... we go in and halter him up, and lead him out to the grooming area.   There he is brushed out, hooves picked and general touching and loving.   Then he's released into the arena and we move to stable cleaning because nobody likes standing in their own business.   Then again, nobody likes standing in anyone else's business either, but ya'll probably know that already.

Following the stable cleaning, Lisa harnesses him back up and begins with a few walking circles, then on to trotting circles.   Eventually she gets him to run the arena, with direction changes and pace changes through hand-signals and sometimes charging at him to remind him who is calling the shots.

L.M. charging past me

It's always fun to watch him kick it up in protest before getting back to it...   1170lbs of  'But I don't WANT to run circles anymore'...

Sometimes he starts a random figure-8 just because he can.   When I'm out in the middle and Lisa is directing him.. I've noticed he often cuts closer and closer to me as he charges by.  

I trust him not to run into me..  so far that trust hasn't been misplaced.

Last Saturday, because I knew he'd be stalled for the weekend, I got L.M. out into the arena and we did just a little of those exercises.   In true fashion, he balked a few times, charged towards me in protest and for the most part?   Had a playful good time.    We didn't stay out too long before I let him get back to his dinner.

Bribes?  I prefer the word Encouragement!

 

Are you SURE we can't go back to those carrots yet?

After I got him back inside and all the equipment stored.  I simply sat in his enclosure with him..  We talked.. Mostly me.. not so much him.   I yammered with his neighbor Risky...   I walked up and down the fenceline saying howdy to all the residents...  and THEN I broke out the carrots.

Yes I did.  Want a carrot?   Show me some love!   I had the whole crew standing at attention.  Risky got a bit snotty towards L.M... who reminded him that *I* was *HIS* person...  surrogate or not..  therefore those carrots and that one apple probably defaulted to his property.   We fixed the kicking, snorting situation by some firm talk and some more love..   

And eventually I noticed my heart, which had come out heavy.. was smiling, and I knew I could go home and be thankful for my evening.  So I said goodnight to all the babies and drove home..   

My cousin Lorrie said something today that really struck a chord with me..

"What is on the outside of a horse, is good for the inside of a woman."  

 

 They don't make a bandaid big enough to handle my hurt... but they sure do make horses that can.

Let em know who's boss!

Because it seemed appropriate.

There is NO question I have a reputation for being a force to be reckoned with.. Too often I've heard that being direct, or speaking up for oneself makes a woman a qualifier in the Bitch Olympics.  Of course, I've also heard that's a lesbian indicator too - but I digress.

Heaven knows I've been told I'm scary.  "Gee Cindy, *I* wouldn't want you angry at me" and other equally wussy statements.
For the love of God.. name ONE PERSON aside from Myles and Ashley.. oh.. and Preston I have EVER put a hand on to discipline!
SHEESH  SO quick to LABEL you people are!

Even my boss told me recently that I appear afraid of nothing.   Boy HE couldn't be more wrong!   VAMPIRES.  Little does he know I still won't enter a room without flicking the light on first...Vampires!  I tell you -  damned scary things.

This is Penny.  Barb and Joy Kinzer's girl.

ANYWAY... I think we can safely say - based on the feedback alone - I have no problems assuming an authoritarian role.  And DO from what I hear..  So I'm comfortable with giving directions.  I'm comfortable in the driver's seat.. I'm comfortable steering my own boat.  

What I am NOT comfortable doing, is holding the reins.   OR squaring off with a 1200# thinking, feeling being.  

Cindy?  You HAVE to show them who is in charge!  You HAVE to be the Alpha in this relationship.    

Are you freak'n kidding me?

Trust me, THIS girl knows a 'you are an idiot' look when she gets one.

 

 

Back at the Stables!

Lisa called me Tuesday.. told me to come on back out the next day for more horse learn'n... so of course I went. 

This time, I cared slightly less what I was wearing, back went on the old boots -  this time accompanied by a Goodwill pair of $3.99 wranglers I'd picked up.   It's been awhile since I've worn wranglers.   The first thing I noticed when I decided to shop?  The COST!  HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!  When did Wranglers start becoming 80.00 fashion pants?  wowzer.   Oh yeah, back to the pair *I* bought..  IN reality, it's been awhile AND a few pounds.   I think the last pairs I had were size 7s and 9s.... These were 12s.   Lil' Man didn't care.   I cared.... I cared mostly because apparently size 12s are too big, and I had quite the random 'crotch pouch' of fabric pooling in the general vicinity.   

Good thing Lil Man also doesn't care that I look like I've filled my britches... 

But did I mention they were only $3.99?  Remember how I told you I wanted to get back to simple?  yeah - that's what I thought!

The cleaning of horse and stalls!

Turns out Lisa had some of the same ideas about this friendship that I did.  Before I could present my ideas of learning how to work with horses from the ground up, she handed me a rake, and a wheelbarrow semi-full of 'horse apples'..   Off to the stables we went, where I learned about the auto-watering trough.. I learned the art of shoveling up brown biscuits and I learned where to dump the wheelbarrow.   (already I was eyeballing things, thinking 'Bogar, bring a bag next time and your garden will benefit').

I learned how to lift the hooves and use the picks.. I was instructed on halter application and daisy-chaining the lead.  We talked of brushing out the baby, while keeping an eye open for new bumps and scrapes.   And I listened VERY carefully to the 6" versus 6' rule when moving around a horse.   It seems, if a horse is prone to kicking at people behind it, at 6" they can't do much damage, and at 6' they can't reach you.  Anywhere in between?  ya'll are gonna be hurtin.   VERY good information to have!

Bonding time!

Actually, I'm learning that any/all time with a horse is bonding time.  Feeding, grooming and touching when NOT working him is a time the horse gets to know you, and know you aren't going to hurt him.   A lesson and connection which will pay off when it is time to go into the arena to work on communication.    With a little direction, Lisa set about showing me how to tell Lil' Man which direction I want him to go, whether fast or slow.  When it's time to turn and where I want him to do it.  It was amazing, and after some time, when she put me front/center, he listened (for the most part) and graced me with compliance :)   THAT was pretty awesome.

Get up on that Cowboy!

FINALLY!   The REAL reason I'm out here!   Yeah, people..  Cowboy is another horse.   Damn ya'll are nasty!
 
Once again Cindy was in the saddle.   Not just in the saddle, but in the saddle and holding the reins.   And no - Willie Nelson was not present, nor was I channeling this guy.

Cowboy had just come in from a fabulous run with his Daddy as well as Tammy and her baby (I love the people I'm meeting).   They'd run free across the fields, sounds of Tammy's giggling distracting Lil' Man from listening.  (a great sound by the way).   Cowboy was less than enthused about Special Needs Cindy getting thrown up on his back, and very quickly taught Cindy the vast magnitude of what she does NOT know about horses.   When his Daddy said 'take em around', Cowboy took that literally and began to move into a trot... 

And didn't seem all that interested in coming out of it initially.. but we managed.

Cowboy and I did turns, and looped the arena, and walked many many times over the wooden bridge.. a lot of OFF the bridge, less ON it.  But we did okay.  Ultimately Cowboy taught Cindy that there is a lot to where her body weight is resting in the saddle.. and there is reasons for where her hands hold the reins, and how it takes the rider first and foremost being in sync with themselves before the horse can join the party.  

Cowboy spent a LOT of time rolling his eyes over towards his Daddy, with a VERY clear horsey expression which said 'Are you KIDDING ME?  What does it WANT and why is it on my back?'  

I think it'll be awhile before Cindy is ready to ride that cowboy again :)

GiddyUp

Once again...

this girl finds herself at the wrong end of a relationship. As an FYI, I really prefer the new start/excitement and crazy love part.  Rather than dwell on THAT, I'm focusing on what this relationship brought new into my world.

And what IS new Cindy?

As is the case with everyone, I think, introducing someone new into ones life brings with it exposure to things previously unknown.   In my case with this man, maybe it was less 'new' than a reminder of things I've met in earlier chapters of my book. 

Cindy, what ARE you babbling about?  What reminder, What things?   GiMME a second Fer Cryin in the bucket!  So pushy you are...

I'm talking mostly about all things 'back to basics'. Livestock, hay, 4-wheelers, guns, tractors and horses.   In the last 18 months, I've driven a grain truck (a small one, and it was empty.... and not really very far... but I DROVE it!) for the first time.  I rode in a combine (who KNEW those birds of prey think of combines like a rodent buffet serving mechanism?)  I held hands and listened to grace being said at all shared meals.  I split wood on a splitter, I learned how to use hay hooks, I was trusted with a chainsaw.    I bought a quilting frame, I ran a long-arm quilter.. I BUILT two quilts (completely out of square and whonky, but I DID it).  I designed my own aprons on a 1940s industrial pfaff that was purchased as a gift for me.   I fell in love with photographing farm equipment.  I stepped in more cowpies than a smart girl should.  I've sprayed thistles taller than myself and I've walked the rolling hills of the Palouse in sun-baked heat.  Recently, I reached under a very annoyed chicken and pulled out still-warm fresh eggs.  I've plucked fresh peppers from a bush and picked up true Idaho potatoes still covered in dirt.   I've found myself staring at a traveling chicken coop with envy and yearning.. and find myself muttering about raised gardens in my postage stamp yard..

Mostly I've forged some friendships that have tripled the size of my heart.   Something changed in me because of his presence in my life...   And frankly I am damned thankful for all those things I've just mentioned.

I've always been outdoorsey..  so maybe better said, I was reintroduced to farm life.  He made me yearn for things like rolling fields, chickens, gardens, horses and the like...

Well, the reality is he made me believe in and yearn for a lot of things.

But for now.. we're going to focus on horses.

My recent love spoke often of the one relationship that most touched his heart -  his horse.   Our time together put me around others who also love horses, and the common theme repeated by all is the amazing heart connection a person can form with their equine brother or sister.  

I need one of those, because it turns out I SUCK at the man/woman partner kind.

So Cindy, what are you going to do about it?

I decided to take riding lessons.. Obviously!  

I can't tell you what I think this will mean to my life..  or what I hope to gain for having pursued it... but I think it is about being involved in something that is clean and open and simple.  Something honest.  Something real.    And mostly something bigger than myself, that shares my heart.. something that isn't concerned about appearances, or gossip or being judged.  Something that shines when we're together and lets me know I matter.  

Maybe something where the only crapping on things that will come of this.. is just the stuff on my boots, and not my heart.

But enough of that...

It turns out many stables will train you, and on their own 4-legged babies.   I've also learned, although I don't have a prayer in hell of ever being able to afford my own horse, there are plenty of horses out there that their people would happily 'rent' out for exercising.   I want to become whatever is the equivalent to a dog walker.. I want to be a horse walker.

So I called a friend who trains horses and breaks people (or is that trains people and breaks horses?  Probably a bit of both) and I said 'okay, here I am.. what do you charge and will you take me on?'  Luckily he said yes :)

I wanna be a cowgirl?

Last week, My first time at the stables started with a simple invite to come out and watch a lesson.   So I did.   I felt like a complete goob, worrying about what to wear, how ridiculous I was going to feel, and how out of place I would appear.  But I 'cowgirled up', dug out my old boots, threw on a pair of jeans (any jeans will do) and went.

Lisa and Lil' Man were working inside the arena, listening carefully to directions such as '2-point left turn' and 'chin up'..  A lot of terminologies were tossed out that meant nothing to me and plenty of threats of 'ground work' whispered my general direction.  But at the end of the evening, I was tossed up in Lil' Man's saddle and carried around as he followed his momma as she walked the fence line.  

That..   I want THAT!

It is amazing to watch these huge babies bond so closely with their person that they will stroll next to them.  But it is more than that...  It is seeing the strength, size and sheer magnificence of their beauty and grace.  It is watching them get feisty and sprint forward straight at the gate, only to spin and kick before tearing off the other direction.  It is watching them toss their heads high, throwing their manes back and looking at you with such regal eyes one moment..  and dropping it the next so they can lean into you and let you rub their ears.  

It took my breath away..  they took my breath away.  I felt I was so unworthy of their grace... 

And at the same time, I SO wanted to be. 

And I can't wait to go back.