GiddyUp

Once again...

this girl finds herself at the wrong end of a relationship. As an FYI, I really prefer the new start/excitement and crazy love part.  Rather than dwell on THAT, I'm focusing on what this relationship brought new into my world.

And what IS new Cindy?

As is the case with everyone, I think, introducing someone new into ones life brings with it exposure to things previously unknown.   In my case with this man, maybe it was less 'new' than a reminder of things I've met in earlier chapters of my book. 

Cindy, what ARE you babbling about?  What reminder, What things?   GiMME a second Fer Cryin in the bucket!  So pushy you are...

I'm talking mostly about all things 'back to basics'. Livestock, hay, 4-wheelers, guns, tractors and horses.   In the last 18 months, I've driven a grain truck (a small one, and it was empty.... and not really very far... but I DROVE it!) for the first time.  I rode in a combine (who KNEW those birds of prey think of combines like a rodent buffet serving mechanism?)  I held hands and listened to grace being said at all shared meals.  I split wood on a splitter, I learned how to use hay hooks, I was trusted with a chainsaw.    I bought a quilting frame, I ran a long-arm quilter.. I BUILT two quilts (completely out of square and whonky, but I DID it).  I designed my own aprons on a 1940s industrial pfaff that was purchased as a gift for me.   I fell in love with photographing farm equipment.  I stepped in more cowpies than a smart girl should.  I've sprayed thistles taller than myself and I've walked the rolling hills of the Palouse in sun-baked heat.  Recently, I reached under a very annoyed chicken and pulled out still-warm fresh eggs.  I've plucked fresh peppers from a bush and picked up true Idaho potatoes still covered in dirt.   I've found myself staring at a traveling chicken coop with envy and yearning.. and find myself muttering about raised gardens in my postage stamp yard..

Mostly I've forged some friendships that have tripled the size of my heart.   Something changed in me because of his presence in my life...   And frankly I am damned thankful for all those things I've just mentioned.

I've always been outdoorsey..  so maybe better said, I was reintroduced to farm life.  He made me yearn for things like rolling fields, chickens, gardens, horses and the like...

Well, the reality is he made me believe in and yearn for a lot of things.

But for now.. we're going to focus on horses.

My recent love spoke often of the one relationship that most touched his heart -  his horse.   Our time together put me around others who also love horses, and the common theme repeated by all is the amazing heart connection a person can form with their equine brother or sister.  

I need one of those, because it turns out I SUCK at the man/woman partner kind.

So Cindy, what are you going to do about it?

I decided to take riding lessons.. Obviously!  

I can't tell you what I think this will mean to my life..  or what I hope to gain for having pursued it... but I think it is about being involved in something that is clean and open and simple.  Something honest.  Something real.    And mostly something bigger than myself, that shares my heart.. something that isn't concerned about appearances, or gossip or being judged.  Something that shines when we're together and lets me know I matter.  

Maybe something where the only crapping on things that will come of this.. is just the stuff on my boots, and not my heart.

But enough of that...

It turns out many stables will train you, and on their own 4-legged babies.   I've also learned, although I don't have a prayer in hell of ever being able to afford my own horse, there are plenty of horses out there that their people would happily 'rent' out for exercising.   I want to become whatever is the equivalent to a dog walker.. I want to be a horse walker.

So I called a friend who trains horses and breaks people (or is that trains people and breaks horses?  Probably a bit of both) and I said 'okay, here I am.. what do you charge and will you take me on?'  Luckily he said yes :)

I wanna be a cowgirl?

Last week, My first time at the stables started with a simple invite to come out and watch a lesson.   So I did.   I felt like a complete goob, worrying about what to wear, how ridiculous I was going to feel, and how out of place I would appear.  But I 'cowgirled up', dug out my old boots, threw on a pair of jeans (any jeans will do) and went.

Lisa and Lil' Man were working inside the arena, listening carefully to directions such as '2-point left turn' and 'chin up'..  A lot of terminologies were tossed out that meant nothing to me and plenty of threats of 'ground work' whispered my general direction.  But at the end of the evening, I was tossed up in Lil' Man's saddle and carried around as he followed his momma as she walked the fence line.  

That..   I want THAT!

It is amazing to watch these huge babies bond so closely with their person that they will stroll next to them.  But it is more than that...  It is seeing the strength, size and sheer magnificence of their beauty and grace.  It is watching them get feisty and sprint forward straight at the gate, only to spin and kick before tearing off the other direction.  It is watching them toss their heads high, throwing their manes back and looking at you with such regal eyes one moment..  and dropping it the next so they can lean into you and let you rub their ears.  

It took my breath away..  they took my breath away.  I felt I was so unworthy of their grace... 

And at the same time, I SO wanted to be. 

And I can't wait to go back.